The leaves have started to fall, pumpkin spice is in the air, and football season has rolled back around once again. Although, this year’s draft is looking a little different. In fact, there are no students playing at all. This year, the teachers have stormed the field, and are tackling their way to victory. Except they’re not drafted based on strength or touchdowns. Instead, the winners are based on their own unique categories. Here is this year’s teacher dream team as voted on by the students of White Oak High School.

Up first, some of the most important members of our team will be the two players with the most school spirit. These players can get a classroom hyped for any assignment or activity, and illustrate the type of pride in our school that we all know and love. These special players are Ron Boyett and Samantha Sims. These players are always the first to hand out fist bumps and get students motivated to tackle their day. They will be an absolute necessity to the team and are already showing their excellence.

Second are the infamous snack hoarders. These teachers always have their baskets and fridges stocked with the best treats for their students, and are the go to people when you forgot to bring something to munch on in third period. The students have chosen Desiree Hutchins-Boyett and Allison Greenwood. These players are known for their full stocks of flavor ice and cheez-its that keep the students here satisfied and make sure their stomachs are never empty. They are crucial to have on the team, as they will keep the rest of the team fed and energized.

Next up are the speed walkers. These are the players that glide across the classroom and through the hallways, amazing everybody with their speed. These players are Jacob Ramos and Karen West. With Mr. Ramos’ amazing agility as he rolls his feet across every yardline, and Mrs. West flunking aerobic walking in college and seeking redemption, these two notable players will be absolutely fundamental to the team.

After them are the teachers with the best sarcasm and comeback game. You don’t want to mess around with these players. Whatever comment you’re thinking of making might as well be kept inside your head, because they will always have a comeback that silences the entire room. The players chosen were Pamela Lattin and LaDonna Griffin. They have the sass and attitude that amaze everybody, and their intelligence makes every comeback even better. Not only are you roasted, but you are also outsmarted.

Next are the players that have the most lecturing stamina. These players could stand up at the front of the room and teach for hours if class time wasn’t limited to 45 minutes. They may be talkative, and the reason we have so much work to finish at home or during enrichment, but we still love them just the same. These players are Rick Higginbotham and Jason Brown. These players will be greatly appreciated by the team as they will serve as helpful distractions to opposing teams.

Following them are the teachers with the loudest voices. These players can be heard across the hall and sometimes even across the school. Their voices carry through all the side conversations and groups of laughing kids, and they’re intimidating enough to keep you quiet too. These players are Richard Burks and Kimberly Taylor. Coach Burks can make your desks vibrate during a casual lecture, and Mrs. Taylor can get an entire gym full of students to pay attention at every pep rally. Their voices will contribute to the team in a great way.

And the last of the categories are the wildcard players. These will be extra players for when there’s an emergency situation and the team needs a true star. They were chosen based on their most impressive secret talents. For the first wildcard player, we have Stacy Shellhorse. Mrs. Shellhorse doesn’t talk about it much, but she secretly is a pro at doing the splits. The next wildcard player is Krystal Olivarez. Mrs. Olivarez has the special ability to skateboard. With these all-star players on the team, we will surely be kickflipping and flexing our way to victory.

And finally are our head coaches. These are the people leading them all and making sure everybody stays motivated and are getting along well. Our head coaches are Patricia Cook, Staci Henderson and Lindsay McClung. These hardcore coaches are not people you want to goof off around. One wrong move and the whole team is assigned a bleacher mile or worse, extra math problems. With this tough crew of coaches, the team this year will surely be a success.

It’s safe to say that the fate of our team this year is safe as long as it is in the hands of our newly chosen players. We wish the best of luck to everybody who was chosen, and thank you for representing our school with pride and excellence.